Thursday, September 18, 2008

Discovery Health's "Birth Day"

Being a nurse, I love watching Discovery Health and especially the delivery shows, they're graphic and are representative of what really happens in hospitals. When I was pregnant with Ethan I often watched "Birth Day", "Special Delivery" and similar shows with excitement, anticipation and sometimes apprehension. After my precious baby died, I could not bear to watch them anymore. I went through my DVR and deleted the series recordings for many of these shows. I just couldn't do it.

A while ago, while reading the episode preview, I saw the episode was about a subsequent pregnancy after a stillbirth. I didn't watch it. I could not at the time. But, since then I've been reading all of the descriptions to see if they will replay it. They haven't, but I did DVR an episode about "Advanced Maternal age and complications". Usually, I fast forward through the episode, stopping only to see the "emergency" and forwarding through the rest. Since I am advanced maternal age, I'm 35, I began to watch it. They were profiling a woman, 37 years old, whose first child was born still at 8 months. Immediately, I was hooked. I watched the episode in it's entirety. I couldn't stop watching, I could relate to everything she was feeling with her current pregnancy. I'm not pregnant, but I have so much fear in just the thought of being pregnant again. Her water broke before her scheduled C section, and she went in to the hospital. As they were wheeling her into the OR, she was cautiously excited. Her apprehension was visible, all she was focusing on was whether her baby was still alive. We all know this can quickly change. One minute your pregnant the next your burying your child. Anyway, as they were performing her C section, she was mortified. Her baby was indeed born alive (exhale) ... breathing, crying and doing all of the wonderful things babies do when they're born ALIVE. I was in tears, the mother was in tears, it was a beautiful moment. I was so happy for this woman, whom I've never met, but nonetheless have so much in common with. She's a fellow deadbabymama. And the birth of her health baby was wonderful to watch.

And for the first time since Ethan died, I watched the show without fast forwarding. I think that's a stride in the right direction.


Monica H said...

Good for you- that's a huge step. I still can't watch those shows :-(

When I was pregnant with Jack (Feb 07), I recorded a special about twins in utero. I still have it on my DVR. I can't watch it and I can't erase it.

Travelwahine said...

Totally get it. I'm telling you it took me a while. I think a lot of it has to do with the medical aspect of it too, I like watching programs like that.

janis said...

I cannot watch anything birth-related and I don't think I will be able to for a long time... so my heart swells with pride for you! ((hugs))

Niki said...

I think that's a huge step! I can't even walk by the baby section at Target. I purposely walk the long way around the store to avoid it. Many hugs to you!