Monday, June 8, 2009

32 weeks, 1 day

Yes, I've made it to the elusive date. And she's still alive, so far. Ethan died at exactly 32 weeks. I woke up and didn't realize, but by 32 weeks, 1 day he was dead.

This morning, I woke up and listened to her heartbeat. It was there...exhale. I don't know what I was expecting, but she's alive. Thank God, I have a NST today at 9:30am. It's reassuring. I love listening to her heartbeat. Although at times, it's difficult to differentiate hers from mine. Lately, my heart is beating so fast, it can easily be mistaken for a fetal heart rate.

She's moving and kicking right now. I love her, keep on moving is my mantra these days. I am now having NSTs twice a week and a weekly biophysical profile every Wednesday. Does it help, yes somewhat. But, I just want her here, alive and breathing.

7 comments:

Ya Chun said...

wow! 3 appts a week.

keep on going and keep on moving!

soon.

Two Hands said...

I'm glad you have so many opportunities to be reassured, but I understand that having her out and healthy will be the best thing of all. Thinking of you and praying for her continued well-being (and yours).

Monica H said...

What a tough day. I'm glad her hear tis still beating and I can't wait for her to make her entrance into this world.

janis said...

walking and waiting with you. *hugs*

Monique said...

I'm sure this was a big milestone - you did it! Holding out hope with you.

mrsmuelly said...

Yay, yay, yay! Congrats on making it passed this milestone. Keep that mantra going too. I can't wait to see your little girl too :-)

Andrea said...

Good for you....you're making it!

I did monitoring twice a week after our loss, and it really helped me. For that time I was hooked up, I knew she was okay, and in a way, I just tried to live in that moment until I got to hear her again. I had so many similar feelings/mantras.

Thinking good thoughts for you and your family. You're getting there!