Happy Birthday Ethan!

Yesterday was Ethan's 3rd Birthday.  We went to our favorite cupcake shop and bought 5 cupcakes, one for every person in our family.  Yes, Ethan also got a cupcake.  And Mommy is the one that got to eat it.We went to the cemetery and sang Happy Birthday to our Ethan.   It was a bittersweet day, full of tears, memories and an overwhelming longing to hold him in my arms.  Yet, I wanted to celebrate my baby, his life, 32 weeks in my womb.  He brought us so much happiness, and when I think of him, I smile.

Ethan,
My sweet baby boy.  I miss you so much.  I wish you were here to celebrate your life, your birthday with us.  I know your brother misses you too.  He talks about you often, and this makes me so happy.  You're not physically here but you are an important part of our lives.  Lauren, also knows who you are.  She points to your picture on my dresser and says, "Bebe".   I'm working on your name with her.  My sweet Ethan, I wish I could go back to May 23rd, 2008 to hold you again, to kiss  you and kiss your toesies.  I want to hold you my baby.  I miss you so much.  I have learned to live with the pain of not haivng you here, but at times it's so hard.  I love you more than words can say. 
Love, Mommy