"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of it's troubles; it empties today of it's strengths"
I know I need to repeat this to myself over and over again. I'm a worried hot mess. I have been checking her heartbeat all day today. I am so scared, so scared of being this close and BAM something happens. This crap happens everyday. I am poking and prodding at her, I was on the verge of calling my OB and begging for her to take the baby early. 5 more days. I have to remember this, only 5 more days. BUT, I am freaking out. I don't want to lose her. Then I worry about it being a holiday weekend. See when Ethan died last year it was right before Memorial Day. I have this thing about holiday weekends. I know, I'm losing it. Can time just fly by, please. I want it to be Tuesday July 7th already. I want a guarantee that she will still be alive. Oh God, please help me!